I'm moving to a new address!

I'm moving this blog to
www.lamentationsjeremiah.wordpress.com

I'm still not quite finished yet, but I hope it will be an easy transition.

I don't think I plan to delete this blog soon--as you can see I've been labeling and adding photographs to everything.

google has changed their privacy policy as of this March,
so I've been a little annoyed.

anyway, thanks for your patience!

Choose your destiny of Hope

You hem me in behind and before
and lay your hand upon me. (psalm 139:5)

When I did not give my mind to God, I seemed to suffer from both thinking I could turn Holiness on and off like a switch when I pleased as well as fearing that I was not chosen else I would not be trapped by myself or my desire to sin.
St. Paul says "I do not understand my own actions. For I do not do what I want, but I do the very thing I hate." (Romans 7:15)
I, believing in the Holy Trinity, thought: if I am chosen I will desire God, if I desire God than I am chosen. If I knew God then I would desire Him, and if I desired God then I would know Him. Faith and Love are connected. But what if I am not in that circle of grace? Then Hope. Did I desire to desire? Then if I asked God to desire Him, I had chosen Him. What is this that is neither love nor knowledge? This willingness? It is the Hope that the Holy Spirit gives.
The fear of not being Predestined was calmed for me only when I realized that I and Everything really do belong to Him, and that only when I believed a lie--that I could choose to be like God and choose my way(bad free will)--did I realize that only those who want to be their own God really become it--and reject the Sovereignty of God, and the grace of God.
We all belong to God, to give Him our mind and bodies, but we are trapped in the lies of the devil--that we belong to ourselves. Free will and Predestination are only at odds with each other when there is sin, which is slavery and a lie. How can you be both a slave and be lying? No, there is an anti-trinity of fatalism&the lie of "choice"&sin, and the Holy Trinity of Faith, Hope, and Love.
Free will is not free if it is not God's will. Predestination is not God's will if it is sin.
Why this paradox? Because we have false knowledge, false desire, and false flesh.
Only when we recognize that we are caught by God, that we are His children--do we realize that we can rest in choosing Him. Not "I'll choose godliness later, after..." or "I chose You before--I can get You back" but "God chose me at Baptism, Christ will take me to heaven--I am His, and therefore I must please the Holy Spirit, who is my comforter and helper."

Such knowledge is too wonderful for me
it is high; I cannot attain it.(psalm 139:6)

The Freudian slip (and why we should pray)

Even before a word is on my tongue,
Behold O Lord, you know it altogether. (139:4, ESV)

Words are complex things

I think this psalmist knew about the "Freudian slip" before Freud. What we intend to say--or think we intend to say--is not always what comes out to others. As Freud pointed out, what we think we want to say is not always as true as what you say.

1.what we intend to say (our reason) 2.what other people think we are saying (truth or filter) 3.What we are really saying. Once you say something you bounce off someone else's reaction, and think "Was that what I meant to say?" and "Why are my words making me look bad?" Or "Did I just say what the other person wanted to hear?" or "Why did I reveal so much bitterness and anger?" Ahh...talking to other people can get really messy. I have spent many nights awake saying "NOOO..." and rethinking, "Is this my fault or theirs?"....And sometimes--though rarely discovered--it is neither persons' or all because it is G-d's. For those who are not Presbyterian, let me explain.

Freud's Uncontrolled Data

There are uncontrolled data thrown in our mess of talking (a.k.a. G-d). This is generally credited when you gave a really amazing testimony you didn't intend or said something so beautiful that you wanted to write it down.
We know things must work opposite too, like when you were trying to prepare an important testimony, have Bible study, a prayer session, or non-Christian friend you are trying to witness to and you lose your temper or something and say the "wrong things." OK so the devil works against us through our own weaknesses (or bizarre disastrous events) or against us through other people who "think we said blah" when we didn't. (unfortunately many liberals are subject to hearing things that nobody said but implied. e.g. what you said: "but doing blahblah is not a good thing" what they hear: "You said G-d hates blah and that you want to kill blah!" ?)
Then there are those times the Freudian slip didn't make sense, and you wanted to blame the devil, like when you wanted something so bad and something happened through your incredible mouth that seemed to "ruin" your incredible plans? Like when you were trying to impress someone (a career, possible love-interest, possible friendship etc.) and you said something you normally didn't say--something that later worked for the better? AHA, G-d can interfere with even our own words sometimes to our present dismay but always to our later joy.

Yes, it's me and them and G-d, and G-d assures us that He knows all these factors.
Which leads us to ask if G-d knows everything, why pray?

Need we pray?
How come G-d knows what we want even before we ask Him--but He desires that we speak?

If you think that is odd think about this:

1. In the garden of Eden G-d breathed into Adam and then gave him an order to name all the creatures, BUT G-d already spoke the creatures into existence AND G-d speaks to Adam apparently every day. Does G-d speak the same language (or does this even matter?) to Adam, and if so, why does He command that Adam name the creatures when G-d already did?

2. In the New Testament, Jesus even tells this to disciples to pray right after he says that G-d already knows it:
“And when you pray, do not heap up empty phrases as the Gentiles do, for they think that they will be heard for their many words. Do not be like them, for your Father knows what you need before you ask him. Pray then like this: Our Father..." (Matt6:7-9)

3. Finally, Jesus who is God (And says he is God), prays regularly notably in His last hours "Not my will but Yours be done" and sweats drops of blood in anguish over what He knows He has to do, He knows will be done, and knows that He will conquer death victoriously just as He told His disciples on numerous occasions.

And many more... Abraham argues with G-d over the destruction of Sodom (and kind loses but wins his request), Moses argues, Sarah scoffs, Hannah weeps, Mary questions, Zechariah denies, Jacob wrestles!, and so on.

Conclusion
G-d likes to talk, wants us to talk to Him, and likes to argue (if not, He'd let us win every time!) So pray. Amen.

You hem me in behind and before
and lay your hand upon me.
(ps 139:5)

My "Faerie Queen" analysis: Faith, Hope, and Love

the Faerie Queen by sir Edmund Spencer (in 1590-96)
Which of Spenser's observations from this epic poem stand out to you? Why?

1. That the type of “Middle English” he uses is mainly his own invention. I find this amusing that I was somewhat fooled, and interested because it is closer to modern English than Chaucer's, so I was able to understand much more of it.

2. How Spencer emphasizes British culture and saints by putting St. George and King Arthur into the story, just as Virgil emphasized the Roman culture through elaborating on a Greek myth. I found it interesting that writing a story could help people identify their culture and define their country better.

3. I found it interesting how much politics he put into the story: Saracens, the Catholic Church, general immorality, and warfare—which are still hot topics today.

4. I found it interesting that he valued pride as the house of all the deadly sins, just as John Milton did when he said “for by it the angels fell.” C.S. Lewis also describes pride as the chief deadly sin: think that you know more than G-d (arrogance) or want to attain more power than G-d (greed) or think that G-d cannot save you (despair). Even though Spencer did not invent the seven deadly sins, and catagorizes them under pride, they seem to still fall under the world, the flesh, and the devil—which I think he is really aware of.

5. It's odd that after the Red-Cross Knight slays the Catholic propaganda machine monster he then houses with the hypocrite. (which seems reverse.) Also it is interesting to note that the monster's parasitic children feed on her after her death—which seems to imply that those that were benefited from Church corruption soon fed off of her demise—which seems to be a critique of many of the radical Protestants (like Zwingli) who seemed to rejoice and benefit off of corruption rather than revile or reform it.

6. It's also interesting that the redcrosse knight became disillusioned with Una, or the true faith after he stayed at the hypocrite Archimago's house, and that after Una lost her defense she became accompanied by the same hypocrite and then captured by a Saracen, or muslim knight. Spencer seems to be implying not necessarily that Catholicism is evil, as much as its false adherents and administrators led the Church astray and disillusioned the Christian knight.

7. After the disillusionment of the Red cross Knight, he gets involved with Duessa who poses as “Fidessa” or faithful, whose red dress could resemble the Catholic church but more relevantly represents the adultress in Revelation who is known as the “Whore of Babylon,” which implies that he is becoming sexually immoral.

8. The House of Pride is where Duessa takes the new “atheist” where the Knight thinks he sees through religion and “knows it all.” Of course this leads to all the other kinds deadly sins: lechery/lust, envy, wrath, sloth/idleness, gluttony/drunkenness, greed/avarice. Now that the Knight is sufficiently immoral he meets an enemy the revengeful Saracen, Sansjoy.

9. It is interesting to note that his brother Sansfoy (without faith) first introduced the Knight to Duessa—most likely referring to the crusaders introduction to the Caliphate or Muslim-type empire which in between the wars became full of insider trading, slaves, treasures, sensuality, and general “worldliness” which Spencer is suggesting, helped lead the Knight away. However, just as there are “worldly” kinds of Saracens, there were devout and revengeful ones who challenged Christendom. How amazing that this applies for today, where Western Civilization has lost the faith and become atheistic and immoral, yet face a rabid kind of fanaticism in Islam (Not all Muslims, obviously.)

10. Again, it is interesting that this Christian Knight battles the Saracen without leaving the house of Pride—only until he realizes it is deadly. The whore of Babylon may be an enemy of violent-revengeful-Islam, but both are still enemies of the Christian. (The world+flesh vs. the devil+world are still opposing Faith, Hope, and Love.)

11. Finally, the Redcrosse Knight is always firstly susceptible to the world and the flesh which are the interior struggles of the soul before he is destroyed by the outward manifestation of evil such as the Pagans are (tribalism, Nazism, Communism, violent-Islam etc.) And only by the rescue King Arthur—perhaps representing Christ—can he be set free from his inward imprisonment of sin and despair.