Choose your destiny of Hope

You hem me in behind and before
and lay your hand upon me. (psalm 139:5)

When I did not give my mind to God, I seemed to suffer from both thinking I could turn Holiness on and off like a switch when I pleased as well as fearing that I was not chosen else I would not be trapped by myself or my desire to sin.
St. Paul says "I do not understand my own actions. For I do not do what I want, but I do the very thing I hate." (Romans 7:15)
I, believing in the Holy Trinity, thought: if I am chosen I will desire God, if I desire God than I am chosen. If I knew God then I would desire Him, and if I desired God then I would know Him. Faith and Love are connected. But what if I am not in that circle of grace? Then Hope. Did I desire to desire? Then if I asked God to desire Him, I had chosen Him. What is this that is neither love nor knowledge? This willingness? It is the Hope that the Holy Spirit gives.
The fear of not being Predestined was calmed for me only when I realized that I and Everything really do belong to Him, and that only when I believed a lie--that I could choose to be like God and choose my way(bad free will)--did I realize that only those who want to be their own God really become it--and reject the Sovereignty of God, and the grace of God.
We all belong to God, to give Him our mind and bodies, but we are trapped in the lies of the devil--that we belong to ourselves. Free will and Predestination are only at odds with each other when there is sin, which is slavery and a lie. How can you be both a slave and be lying? No, there is an anti-trinity of fatalism&the lie of "choice"&sin, and the Holy Trinity of Faith, Hope, and Love.
Free will is not free if it is not God's will. Predestination is not God's will if it is sin.
Why this paradox? Because we have false knowledge, false desire, and false flesh.
Only when we recognize that we are caught by God, that we are His children--do we realize that we can rest in choosing Him. Not "I'll choose godliness later, after..." or "I chose You before--I can get You back" but "God chose me at Baptism, Christ will take me to heaven--I am His, and therefore I must please the Holy Spirit, who is my comforter and helper."

Such knowledge is too wonderful for me
it is high; I cannot attain it.(psalm 139:6)

The Freudian slip (and why we should pray)

Even before a word is on my tongue,
Behold O Lord, you know it altogether. (139:4, ESV)

Words are complex things

I think this psalmist knew about the "Freudian slip" before Freud. What we intend to say--or think we intend to say--is not always what comes out to others. As Freud pointed out, what we think we want to say is not always as true as what you say.

1.what we intend to say (our reason) 2.what other people think we are saying (truth or filter) 3.What we are really saying. Once you say something you bounce off someone else's reaction, and think "Was that what I meant to say?" and "Why are my words making me look bad?" Or "Did I just say what the other person wanted to hear?" or "Why did I reveal so much bitterness and anger?" Ahh...talking to other people can get really messy. I have spent many nights awake saying "NOOO..." and rethinking, "Is this my fault or theirs?"....And sometimes--though rarely discovered--it is neither persons' or all because it is G-d's. For those who are not Presbyterian, let me explain.

Freud's Uncontrolled Data

There are uncontrolled data thrown in our mess of talking (a.k.a. G-d). This is generally credited when you gave a really amazing testimony you didn't intend or said something so beautiful that you wanted to write it down.
We know things must work opposite too, like when you were trying to prepare an important testimony, have Bible study, a prayer session, or non-Christian friend you are trying to witness to and you lose your temper or something and say the "wrong things." OK so the devil works against us through our own weaknesses (or bizarre disastrous events) or against us through other people who "think we said blah" when we didn't. (unfortunately many liberals are subject to hearing things that nobody said but implied. e.g. what you said: "but doing blahblah is not a good thing" what they hear: "You said G-d hates blah and that you want to kill blah!" ?)
Then there are those times the Freudian slip didn't make sense, and you wanted to blame the devil, like when you wanted something so bad and something happened through your incredible mouth that seemed to "ruin" your incredible plans? Like when you were trying to impress someone (a career, possible love-interest, possible friendship etc.) and you said something you normally didn't say--something that later worked for the better? AHA, G-d can interfere with even our own words sometimes to our present dismay but always to our later joy.

Yes, it's me and them and G-d, and G-d assures us that He knows all these factors.
Which leads us to ask if G-d knows everything, why pray?

Need we pray?
How come G-d knows what we want even before we ask Him--but He desires that we speak?

If you think that is odd think about this:

1. In the garden of Eden G-d breathed into Adam and then gave him an order to name all the creatures, BUT G-d already spoke the creatures into existence AND G-d speaks to Adam apparently every day. Does G-d speak the same language (or does this even matter?) to Adam, and if so, why does He command that Adam name the creatures when G-d already did?

2. In the New Testament, Jesus even tells this to disciples to pray right after he says that G-d already knows it:
“And when you pray, do not heap up empty phrases as the Gentiles do, for they think that they will be heard for their many words. Do not be like them, for your Father knows what you need before you ask him. Pray then like this: Our Father..." (Matt6:7-9)

3. Finally, Jesus who is God (And says he is God), prays regularly notably in His last hours "Not my will but Yours be done" and sweats drops of blood in anguish over what He knows He has to do, He knows will be done, and knows that He will conquer death victoriously just as He told His disciples on numerous occasions.

And many more... Abraham argues with G-d over the destruction of Sodom (and kind loses but wins his request), Moses argues, Sarah scoffs, Hannah weeps, Mary questions, Zechariah denies, Jacob wrestles!, and so on.

Conclusion
G-d likes to talk, wants us to talk to Him, and likes to argue (if not, He'd let us win every time!) So pray. Amen.

You hem me in behind and before
and lay your hand upon me.
(ps 139:5)

Holy thoughts and dreams: psalm 139

You have searched out my path and my lying down
and are acquainted with all my ways. --psalm 139 v3

--This applies to traveling in body as well as in mind. It is often in long travels that we think about many things, and before we go to sleep that we ponder deeply.

Unclean thoughts and fear
--Often we do not recognize that our thoughts are not ours, but belong to unclean (gross, nasty) spirits that tempt us by lust, fear, or loathing. We must recognize this and invite the Holy Spirit by asking Him to dwell in us, and correct us. When we are afraid, or tempted, say "Holy Spirit I trust in you" and dwell on His peace--this helped my sibling overcome panic attacks.

Bad dreams
--Our mind is always in danger even in dreams. The power of prayer is necessary and effective even in the subconscious. Often in horrible nightmares, I remembered to pray for help, and felt the presence of G-d take away my fear. It seems that the more I needed help, the easier it was for me to pray. Of course I have not had as many nightmares since I was a child, but that's not necessarily a good thing. Evil was more clear antagonistic but I felt God's presence and peace very strongly as well.

I awake and still am with you. (v 18b)
On waking up
--Practice prayer often, before you sleep and after you wake and recite scripture. My favorite is "Bless the Lord O my Soul, and all that is within me, bless His holy name." If you say this often enough, it becomes second nature. I generally hate waking up early because I feel like the world is ending, but when I say this it gives me strength. Also I say this after waking up from a particularly nasty or unclean dream.

On dream analysis
--I think it is important to analyze curious dreams, especially ones that seem to reveal something, usually a feeling or opinion, that we could not put in words when we were awake. "Sleeping on a problem" often clears the confusion of the day, and apparently a number of Mathematicians or Scientists made discoveries through their dreams. This happens often to me that symbols replace actual events, or people, and I usually chuckle when I see a feeling or idea materialize in my subconscious that I suppressed.

--Of course a caution comes with this as well: Often dreams feel more important than they really are, and any "feeling" that is particularly captivating or more interesting than holiness is false. Not every spirit is particularly evil, or even unclean, but if it is not from God, it is NEVER necessary or beneficial. I unfortunately have learned this the hard way, trying to chase "feelings" from my dreams or to keep on dreaming, only to discover that drug-like induced effects are NOT worth your time.
(Now understand that I do believe some of these feelings could be possibly good, but if they are God's, then we must let Him show us these things in His own time, never possessing us nor should these feelings be in our possession.)

If I say surely the darkness shall cover me
and the light about me be night
even the darkness is not dark to you
the night is as bright as the day
for the darkness is as light with you. --(v 11-12)

On imagination and carnality
To be able to be free from impure thoughts can only be obtained through giving your heart and mind to Christ. Our choice to imagine or create stories or movies in our heads is very susceptible to our fleshly desires as well as the spiritual. In fact, they are totally connected. A few years ago I attended the stations of the cross on Good Friday at our local Catholic Church and I was struck by St. Alfonso Liguori's words: "I love you Jesus, my love, I love you more than myself... Give me enough strength to overcome all human respect and all my evil passions which have led me to despise your friendship...Never allow me to offend you again." If you ask Jesus for help, He will give you enough strength to overcome. I am amazed how much the Holy Trinity has helped me in the past 3 years through the way, the truth, and the life. Obedience, Love, and the Knowledge of God work together. Be open to God about your troubles and temptations.

to overcome sin
--I memorized Psalms--focus on something more sacred than yourself.
--I Bible-flip regularly--I found it best to think about something I felt uncomfortable about, needed help in, or a even picked a "topic" in my mind before flipping. The rule I keep is that I always write down the verse in my book, underline the verse in my Bible with pencil, and Stopped flipping(this is a difficult rule to keep). If the verse was hard to take, understand that truth is trinitarian--it need not always be what you need, sometimes you get a little history--but search the context or lack of context for some truth and meaning.
--keep a diary to write prayers, thoughts, temptations, and angst. I couldn't believe how much easier it was to overcome problems by acknowledging that they were there.

Remember: The Holy Spirit is our friend and helper, Jesus was a teenager and is very acquainted with our struggles and temptations, we and all creation belong to God the father who has thousands of beautiful thoughts waiting to be discovered...
As it is written:
How precious to me are your thoughts, O God!
How vast the sum of them!
If I would count them, they would outnumber the sand. (v18)

Trinity teaches us Holy fear (beta version)

"O Lord you have searched me and known me!
You know when I sit and when I rise
You discern my thoughts from afar."
--psalm 139

+The time in between sitting and rising is when we think much alone, speak much to others, when we eat, when we are transported in travel, use the toilet, study, read, play an instrument, or work at a desk job. This most of the modern person's life--especially the thought life. This is very important to G-d, and how we serve Him.

+G-d is eternal and already has known us--when we shall die and where we shall go. We may become afraid at this, fearing hell, but this is only from one view of the trinity, and we interact with all three persons of Faith, Hope, and Love.
(or you can say that we only interact with the Spirit, and are seeing the Father's wrath, but are saved by the Son.)

Whichever way you apply the trinity, be aware that at least you see a good&bad description from one viewpoint, because that is its relations to the other two. You do not want a duality (anger-bad, happy-good) because G-d is not like this. To illustrate my point of a good contradiction,
1.We should never be afraid G-d will hate us when we are lost because we don't know G-d; 2.only when we "know better" should we be afraid of "God's wrath", because we know His love so well that we know it is not something to lose.
But... 1. if we are lost we should be fearful 2. if we are found we need not be. hmm.
OK so should we be afraid of G-d or not?
+ and how can you fear G-d if you don't know Him or His power?
+ and how can you know G-d unless you fear Him?
From a devil's advocate perspective, God can only "hate" those He loves; the wicked are like chaff and shadow with no substance, so shouldn't we desire his wrath and jealousy, so that we know we exist? (many women test their husband's love by trying to arouse his jealousy) So anyway, as you can see, I am running into contradictions already--which is good, because contradictions are a problem in dualities NOT in trinities. (no, I do not embrace all contradictions as being true; first let me tell you about the three-legged stool analogy)

+ first of all, what is a trinity? Three-legged stool analogy
I learned in an Episcopal church catechism class about a "three-legged stool" being similar to applying the trinity in the Church--each leg is unique yet dependent to function. The Father, Son, and Holy Spirit is similar to Tradition (father), Reason (son), Emotion (spirit) used to hold up the Church by Liturgy (tradition), Scripture (reason), Songs&prayer (emotion). However they need not be in that order--relationship is KEY. (I'll explain more later--problem with trinities is that they INVOLVE the reader, so you have to kind of "jump in" rather than go step-by-step)

Holy Fear (past, present, and future)
+If G-d is eternal, than when we embrace Him, we embrace completion of heaven and rebirth without fear (when we are wrongly afraid) because it is wrong to fear G-d's judgment when it keeps us from Him and not repentance. The fear that leads to repentance is right, but sometimes we have false fear which keeps us from embracing and trusting G-d's full personhood (trinity).
+When we are fearful of G-d but not drawn to Him, then we must repent of this unholy fear, and false fear.
1. ask for grace (spirit)
2.choose to love (son)
3.believe in His Truth (father)[in this case the father and son seem interchangeable to me]
+Embrace the Holy Fear by completing your relationship to the Holy Trinity: Faith, Hope, and Love--these three abide.
1. If you know God than you will love Him. --ask for knowledge.
2. If you love God than you will obey Him. --ask for love.
3. In asking you have obeyed.
Now switch around any of those. Obey, Know, Love. You can obey first, know first, love first--they all lead to each other. Now you are involved in repentance. Now you are involved in knowing that you chose G-d, that G-d has chosen you, and that in being drawn to G-d, He is being drawn to you and vice versa.

Flee from evil! Refuse guilt--accept repentance!
+Often we have unholy fear when we sin, and keep much guilt because we do not turn to Him, but when we obey we are not so afraid because we embrace His loving arms around us.

Yom Kippur

2"Blessed is the man who does this,
and the son of man who holds it fast,
who keeps the Sabbath, not profaning it,
and keeps his hand from doing any evil.

3 Let not the foreigner who has joined himself to the LORD say,
"The LORD will surely separate me from his people";
and let not the eunuch say,
"Behold, I am a dry tree."


4 For thus says the LORD:
"To the eunuchs who keep my Sabbaths,
who choose the things that please me
and hold fast to my covenant,
5 I will give in my house and within my walls
a monument and a name better than sons and daughters;
I will give them an everlasting name that shall not be cut off.

6 "And the foreigners who join themselves to the LORD,
to minister to him, to love the name of the LORD,
and to be his servants,
everyone who keeps the Sabbath and does not profane it,
and holds fast my covenant--

7 these I will bring to my holy mountain,
and make them joyful in my house of prayer;
their burnt offerings and their sacrifices
will be accepted on my altar;
for my house shall be called a house of prayer for all peoples."

8 The Lord GOD, who gathers the outcasts of Israel, declares,
"I will gather yet others to him besides those already gathered."

amen. --Isaiah 56

Lent: the beginning of birth pains

1 Jesus came out from the temple and was going away when His disciples came up to point out the temple buildings to Him.

2And He said to them, "Do you not see all these things? Truly I say to you, not one stone here will be left upon another, which will not be torn down."

3As He was sitting on the Mount of Olives, the disciples came to Him privately, saying, "Tell us, when will these things happen, and what will be the sign of Your coming, and of the end of the age?"

4And Jesus answered and said to them, " See to it that no one misleads you.

5"For many will come in My name, saying, 'I am the Christ,' and will mislead many.

6"You will be hearing of wars and rumors of wars. See that you are not frightened, for those things must take place, but that is not yet the end.

7"For nation will rise against nation, and kingdom against kingdom, and in various places there will be famines and earthquakes.

8"But all these things are merely the beginning of birth pangs.

9" Then they will deliver you to tribulation, and will kill you, and you will be hated by all nations because of My name.

10"At that time many will fall away and will betray one another and hate one another.

11"Many false prophets will arise and will mislead many.

12"Because lawlessness is increased, most people's love will grow cold.

13" But the one who endures to the end, he will be saved.

14"This gospel of the kingdom shall be preached in the whole world as a testimony to all the nations, and then the end will come.

--matthew 24, NASB

104

These all look to you to give them their food in due season.
When you give it to them, they gather it up;
when you open your hand, they are filled with good things.
When you hide your face, they are dismayed;
when you take away their breath, they die and return to their dust.
When you send forth your breath, they are created, and you renew the face of the ground.

Hallelujah. Amen.

hello again

You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your might.---Deuteronomy 6:5

holy week +

John 12
12:1 Six days before the Passover, Jesus therefore came to Bethany, where Lazarus was, whom Jesus had raised from the dead. 2 So they gave a dinner for him there. Martha served, and Lazarus was one of those reclining with him at table. 3 Mary therefore took a pound of expensive ointment made from pure nard, and anointed the feet of Jesus and wiped his feet with her hair. The house was filled with the fragrance of the perfume. 4 But Judas Iscariot, one of his disciples (he who was about to betray him), said, 5 “Why was this ointment not sold for three hundred denarii and given to the poor?” 6 He said this, not because he cared about the poor, but because he was a thief, and having charge of the moneybag he used to help himself to what was put into it. 7 Jesus said, “Leave her alone, so that she may keep it for the day of my burial. 8 For the poor you always have with you, but you do not always have me.”

9 When the large crowd of the Jews learned that Jesus was there, they came, not only on account of him but also to see Lazarus, whom he had raised from the dead. 10 So the chief priests made plans to put Lazarus to death as well, 11 because on account of him many of the Jews were going away and believing in Jesus.

12 The next day the large crowd that had come to the feast heard that Jesus was coming to Jerusalem. 13 So they took branches of palm trees and went out to meet him, crying out, “Hosanna! Blessed is he who comes in the name of the Lord, even the King of Israel!” 14 And Jesus found a young donkey and sat on it, just as it is written,

15 “Fear not, daughter of Zion;
behold, your king is coming,
sitting on a donkey's colt!”

16 His disciples did not understand these things at first, but when Jesus was glorified, then they remembered that these things had been written about him and had been done to him. 17 The crowd that had been with him when he called Lazarus out of the tomb and raised him from the dead continued to bear witness. 18 The reason why the crowd went to meet him was that they heard he had done this sign. 19 So the Pharisees said to one another, “You see that you are gaining nothing. Look, the world has gone after him.”

20 Now among those who went up to worship at the feast were some Greeks. 21 So these came to Philip, who was from Bethsaida in Galilee, and asked him, “Sir, we wish to see Jesus.” 22 Philip went and told Andrew; Andrew and Philip went and told Jesus. 23 And Jesus answered them, “The hour has come for the Son of Man to be glorified. 24 Truly, truly, I say to you, unless a grain of wheat falls into the earth and dies, it remains alone; but if it dies, it bears much fruit. 25 Whoever loves his life loses it, and whoever hates his life in this world will keep it for eternal life. 26 If anyone serves me, he must follow me; and where I am, there will my servant be also. If anyone serves me, the Father will honor him.

27 “Now is my soul troubled. And what shall I say? ‘Father, save me from this hour’? But for this purpose I have come to this hour. 28 Father, glorify your name.” Then a voice came from heaven: “I have glorified it, and I will glorify it again.” 29 The crowd that stood there and heard it said that it had thundered. Others said, “An angel has spoken to him.” 30 Jesus answered, “This voice has come for your sake, not mine. 31 Now is the judgment of this world; now will the ruler of this world be cast out. 32 And I, when I am lifted up from the earth, will draw all people to myself.” 33 He said this to show by what kind of death he was going to die. 34 So the crowd answered him, “We have heard from the Law that the Christ remains forever. How can you say that the Son of Man must be lifted up? Who is this Son of Man?” 35 So Jesus said to them, “The light is among you for a little while longer. Walk while you have the light, lest darkness overtake you. The one who walks in the darkness does not know where he is going. 36 While you have the light, believe in the light, that you may become sons of light.”

When Jesus had said these things, he departed and hid himself from them. 37 Though he had done so many signs before them, they still did not believe in him, 38 so that the word spoken by the prophet Isaiah might be fulfilled:

“Lord, who has believed what he heard from us,
and to whom has the arm of the Lord been revealed?”

39 Therefore they could not believe. For again Isaiah said,

40 “He has blinded their eyes
and hardened their heart,
lest they see with their eyes,
and understand with their heart, and turn,
and I would heal them.”

41 Isaiah said these things because he saw his glory and spoke of him. 42 Nevertheless, many even of the authorities believed in him, but for fear of the Pharisees they did not confess it, so that they would not be put out of the synagogue; 43 for they loved the glory that comes from man more than the glory that comes from God.

44 And Jesus cried out and said, “Whoever believes in me, believes not in me but in him who sent me. 45 And whoever sees me sees him who sent me. 46 I have come into the world as light, so that whoever believes in me may not remain in darkness. 47 If anyone hears my words and does not keep them, I do not judge him; for I did not come to judge the world but to save the world. 48 The one who rejects me and does not receive my words has a judge; the word that I have spoken will judge him on the last day. 49 For I have not spoken on my own authority, but the Father who sent me has himself given me a commandment—what to say and what to speak. 50 And I know that his commandment is eternal life. What I say, therefore, I say as the Father has told me.”

Though the mountains be moved

46:1 God is our refuge and strength,
a very present help in trouble.
2 Therefore we will not fear though the earth gives way,
though the mountains be moved into the heart of the sea,
3 though its waters roar and foam,
though the mountains tremble at its swelling.

4 There is a river whose streams make glad the city of God,
the holy habitation of the Most High.
5 God is in the midst of her; she shall not be moved;
God will help her when morning dawns.
6 The nations rage, the kingdoms totter;
he utters his voice, the earth melts.
7 The Lord of hosts is with us;
the God of Jacob is our fortress.

8 Come, behold the works of the Lord,
how he has brought desolations on the earth.
9 He makes wars cease to the end of the earth;
he breaks the bow and shatters the spear;
he burns the chariots with fire.
10 “Be still, and know that I am God.
I will be exalted among the nations,
I will be exalted in the earth!”
11 The Lord of hosts is with us;
the God of Jacob is our fortress.

23rd midnight...

4th Sunday of Lent: psalm 14 "The fool says in his heart 'there is no God'"

Monday: psalm 150 "praise the lord. praise God in His sanctuary, praise Him in His mighty heavens" ...
praise Him with trumpet blast,
praise Him with lute and harp,
praise Him with tambourine and dance,
praise Him with strings and pipe,
praise Him with loud cymbals and crashing cymbals;
let everything that has breath praise the Lord"

good night.

8th day

I re-memorized psalm 121 today. I confess I memorized it in the NIV when I was about 7 years old, so it's hard to undo. The key differences of NIV vs ESV in this psalm are "watch over" vs. "keep" and "harm" vs. "evil." Here's the ESV anyway.

psalm 121

121:1 I lift up my eyes to the hills.
From where does my help come?
2 My help comes from the Lord,
who made heaven and earth.

3 He will not let your foot be moved;
he who keeps you will not slumber.
4 Behold, he who keeps Israel
will neither slumber nor sleep.

5 The Lord is your keeper;
the Lord is your shade on your right hand.
6 The sun shall not strike you by day,
nor the moon by night.

7 The Lord will keep you from all evil;
he will keep your life.
8 The Lord will keep
your going out and your coming in
from this time forth and forevermore.

day 7

So this is the 7th day of Lent. I don't know about my spiritual progress; I have been noticing this week that I have critical thoughts of fellow classmates...but maybe it's more of an indication of wasted time than anything else. It's also amazing how much little things like food and sleep affect disposition--but I will not make excuse. I have decided that I must ignore all shallow thoughts of pride. Last night I decided my wisdom was shallow and lacking, therefore I apologize to all who has suffered from my remedies... I know nothing, I speak words of vanity, full of arrogance and conceit. There are wells of wisdom in silences that are not contained in the babbling brook of words. Buddhists do not have everything wrong, but I prefer Wurmbrand.

Here is the psalm I memorized for today. ESV. Psalm 8.

8:1 O Lord, our Lord,
how majestic is your name in all the earth!
You have set your glory above the heavens.
2 Out of the mouth of babies and infants,
you have established strength because of your foes,
to still the enemy and the avenger.

3 When I look at your heavens, the work of your fingers,
the moon and the stars, which you have set in place,
4 what is man that you are mindful of him,
and the son of man that you care for him?

5 Yet you have made him a little lower than the heavenly beings [2]
and crowned him with glory and honor.
6 You have given him dominion over the works of your hands;
you have put all things under his feet,
7 all sheep and oxen,
and also the beasts of the field,
8 the birds of the heavens, and the fish of the sea,
whatever passes along the paths of the seas.

9 O Lord, our Lord,
how majestic is your name in all the earth!

Lent: day 6

it is currently the 6th day of Lent not counting Sunday as Sundays are usually not counted. I am counting Ash Wednesday as the first day of Lent. hmm...the calender just tells me it is the first week in Lent.
Anyway, I am memorizing psalms.
First Sunday of Lent: Psalms 2 & 3
Monday: Psalm 4
Tuesday/Today: trying not to mix them up. (which can be easy to do with 3 & 4 since they both talk about sleep.)

Here is Psalm 4 (esv)

1 Answer me when I call, O God of my righteousness!
You have given me relief when I was in distress.
Be gracious to me and hear my prayer!

2 O men, how long shall my honor be turned into shame?
How long will you love vain words and seek after lies? Selah
3 But know that the Lord has set apart the godly for himself;
the Lord hears when I call to him.

4 Be angry, and do not sin;
ponder in your own hearts on your beds, and be silent. Selah
5 Offer right sacrifices,
and put your trust in the Lord.

6 There are many who say, “Who will show us some good?
Lift up the light of your face upon us, O Lord!”
7 You have put more joy in my heart
than they have when their grain and wine abound.

8 In peace I will both lie down and sleep;
for you alone, O Lord, make me dwell in safety.

Ash Wednesday

Luke 4:1 And Jesus, full of the Holy Spirit, returned from the Jordan and was led by the Spirit in the wilderness 2 for forty days, being tempted by the devil. And he ate nothing during those days. And when they were ended, he was hungry.

Genesis 3:6 So when the woman saw that the tree was good for food, and that it was a delight to the eyes, and that the tree was to be desired to make one wise, she took of its fruit and ate

Deuteronomy 8:2 And you shall remember the whole way that the Lord your God has led you these forty years in the wilderness, that he might humble you, testing you to know what was in your heart, whether you would keep his commandments or not. 3 And he humbled you and let you hunger and fed you with manna, which you did not know, nor did your fathers know, that he might make you know that man does not live by bread alone, but man lives by every word that comes from the mouth of the Lord.

...16 who fed you in the wilderness with manna that your fathers did not know, that he might humble you and test you, to do you good in the end. 17 Beware lest you say in your heart, ‘My power and the might of my hand have gotten me this wealth.’ 18 You shall remember the Lord your God, for it is he who gives you power to get wealth, that he may confirm his covenant that he swore to your fathers, as it is this day. 19 And if you forget the Lord your God and go after other gods and serve them and worship them, I solemnly warn you today that you shall surely perish. 20 Like the nations that the Lord makes to perish before you, so shall you perish, because you would not obey the voice of the Lord your God.

Deuteronomy 6:4 “Hear, O Israel: The Lord our God, the Lord is one. 5 You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your might. 6 And these words that I command you today shall be on your heart. 7 You shall teach them diligently to your children, and shall talk of them when you sit in your house, and when you walk by the way, and when you lie down, and when you rise. 8 You shall bind them as a sign on your hand, and they shall be as frontlets between your eyes. 9 You shall write them on the doorposts of your house and on your gates.

...13 It is the Lord your God you shall fear. Him you shall serve and by his name you shall swear. 14 You shall not go after other gods, the gods of the peoples who are around you— 15 for the Lord your God in your midst is a jealous God—lest the anger of the Lord your God be kindled against you, and he destroy you from off the face of the earth.
16 “You shall not put the Lord your God to the test, as you tested him at Massah. 17 You shall diligently keep the commandments of the Lord your God, and his testimonies and his statutes, which he has commanded you. 18 And you shall do what is right and good in the sight of the Lord, that it may go well with you, and that you may go in and take possession of the good land that the Lord swore to give to your fathers 19 by thrusting out all your enemies from before you, as the Lord has promised.

Luke 4:13 And when the devil had ended every temptation, he departed from him until an opportune time.

Genesis4:19 By the sweat of your face
you shall eat bread,
till you return to the ground,
for out of it you were taken;
for you are dust,
and to dust you shall return.”

17 night prayer

3 You have tried my heart, you have visited me by night,
you have tested me, and you will find nothing;
I have purposed that my mouth will not transgress.

6 I call upon you, for you will answer me, O God;
incline your ear to me; hear my words.

8 Keep me as the apple of your eye;
hide me in the shadow of your wings,

9 from the wicked who do me violence,
my deadly enemies who surround me.

13 Arise, O Lord! Confront him, subdue him!
Deliver my soul from the wicked by your sword,
14 from men by your hand, O Lord,
from men of the world whose portion is in this life.

15 As for me, I shall behold your face in righteousness;
when I awake, I shall be satisfied with your likeness.

-- psalm 17

18

16 He sent from on high, he took me;
he drew me out of many waters.
17 He rescued me from my strong enemy
and from those who hated me,
for they were too mighty for me.
18 They confronted me in the day of my calamity,
but the Lord was my support.
19 He brought me out into a broad place;
he rescued me, because he delighted in me.

11

In the Lord I take refuge;
how can you say to my soul,
“Flee like a bird to your mountain,
2 for behold, the wicked bend the bow;
they have fitted their arrow to the string
to shoot in the dark at the upright in heart;
3 if the foundations are destroyed,
what can the righteous do?”

4 The Lord is in his holy temple;
the Lord's throne is in heaven;
his eyes see, his eyelids test the children of man.
5 The Lord tests the righteous,
but his soul hates the wicked and the one who loves violence.
6 Let him rain coals on the wicked;
fire and sulfur and a scorching wind shall be the portion of their cup.
7 For the Lord is righteous;
he loves righteous deeds;
the upright shall behold his face.

I myself

11 “For thus says the Lord God:
Behold, I, I myself will search for my sheep and will seek them out.
12 As a shepherd seeks out his flock
when he is among his sheep that have been scattered,
so will I seek out my sheep,
and I will rescue them from all places
where they have been scattered on a day of clouds and thick darkness.
13 And I will bring them out from the peoples
and gather them from the countries,
and will bring them into their own land.
And I will feed them on the mountains of Israel,
by the ravines, and in all the inhabited places of the country.
14 I will feed them with good pasture,
and on the mountain heights of Israel shall be their grazing land.
There they shall lie down in good grazing land,
and on rich pasture they shall feed on the mountains of Israel.
15 I myself will be the shepherd of my sheep,
and I myself will make them lie down,
declares the Lord God.
16 I will seek the lost, and I will bring back the strayed,
and I will bind up the injured, and I will strengthen the weak,
and the fat and the strong I will destroy.
I will feed them in justice. Ezekiel 34

Lord's day

I was in the Spirit on the Lord's day,
and I heard behind me a loud voice like a trumpet saying,
“Write what you see in a book and send it to the seven churches,
to Ephesus and to Smyrna and to Pergamum and to Thyatira and to Sardis
and to Philadelphia and to Laodicea.”
Then I turned to see the voice that was speaking to me,
and on turning I saw seven golden lampstands,
and in the midst of the lampstands one like a son of man,
clothed with a long robe and with a golden sash around his chest.
The hairs of his head were white, like white wool, like snow.
His eyes were like a flame of fire,
his feet were like burnished bronze, refined in a furnace,
and his voice was like the roar of many waters.
In his right hand he held seven stars,
from his mouth came a sharp two-edged sword,
and his face was like the sun shining in full strength.
When I saw him, I fell at his feet as though dead.
But he laid his right hand on me, saying,
“Fear not, I am the first and the last, and the living one.
I died, and behold I am alive forevermore, and I have the keys of Death and Hades.
Write therefore the things that you have seen, those that are and those that are to take place after this.
As for the mystery of the seven stars that you saw in my right hand, and the seven golden lampstands, the seven stars are the angels of the seven churches, and the seven lampstands are the seven churches. Revelation1:10-20