Choose your destiny of Hope

You hem me in behind and before
and lay your hand upon me. (psalm 139:5)

When I did not give my mind to God, I seemed to suffer from both thinking I could turn Holiness on and off like a switch when I pleased as well as fearing that I was not chosen else I would not be trapped by myself or my desire to sin.
St. Paul says "I do not understand my own actions. For I do not do what I want, but I do the very thing I hate." (Romans 7:15)
I, believing in the Holy Trinity, thought: if I am chosen I will desire God, if I desire God than I am chosen. If I knew God then I would desire Him, and if I desired God then I would know Him. Faith and Love are connected. But what if I am not in that circle of grace? Then Hope. Did I desire to desire? Then if I asked God to desire Him, I had chosen Him. What is this that is neither love nor knowledge? This willingness? It is the Hope that the Holy Spirit gives.
The fear of not being Predestined was calmed for me only when I realized that I and Everything really do belong to Him, and that only when I believed a lie--that I could choose to be like God and choose my way(bad free will)--did I realize that only those who want to be their own God really become it--and reject the Sovereignty of God, and the grace of God.
We all belong to God, to give Him our mind and bodies, but we are trapped in the lies of the devil--that we belong to ourselves. Free will and Predestination are only at odds with each other when there is sin, which is slavery and a lie. How can you be both a slave and be lying? No, there is an anti-trinity of fatalism&the lie of "choice"&sin, and the Holy Trinity of Faith, Hope, and Love.
Free will is not free if it is not God's will. Predestination is not God's will if it is sin.
Why this paradox? Because we have false knowledge, false desire, and false flesh.
Only when we recognize that we are caught by God, that we are His children--do we realize that we can rest in choosing Him. Not "I'll choose godliness later, after..." or "I chose You before--I can get You back" but "God chose me at Baptism, Christ will take me to heaven--I am His, and therefore I must please the Holy Spirit, who is my comforter and helper."

Such knowledge is too wonderful for me
it is high; I cannot attain it.(psalm 139:6)

VII

The Seventh Station:
Jesus Falls the Second Time

V: We adore You, O Christ, and we praise You. (Genuflect)

R: Because, by Your holy cross, You have redeemed the world. (Rise)

V: Consider how the second fall of Jesus under His cross renews the pain in all the wounds of the head and members of our afflicted Lord. (Kneel)

R: My most gentle Jesus, / how many times You have forgiven me; / and how many times I have fallen again and begun again to offend You! / By the merits of this second fall, / give me the grace to persevere in Your love until death. / Grant, that in all my temptations, I may always have recourse to You. / I love You, Jesus, my Love with all my heart; / I am sorry that I have offended You. / Never let me offend You again. / Grant that I may love You always; and then do with me as You will.

(Our Father, Hail Mary, Glory be.)

For the sins of His own nation
Saw Him hang in desolation
Till His spirit forth He sent.

VI

The Sixth Station:
Veronica Offers Her Veil to Jesus

V: We adore You, O Christ, and we praise You. (Genuflect)

R: Because, by Your holy cross, You have redeemed the world. (Rise)

V: Consider the compassion of the holy woman, Veronica. Seeing Jesus in such distress, His face bathed in sweat and blood, she presented Him with her veil. Jesus wiped His face, and left upon the cloth the image of his sacred countenance. (Kneel)

R: My beloved Jesus, / Your face was beautiful before You began this journey; / but, now, it no longer appears beautiful / and is disfigured with wounds and blood. / Alas, my soul also was once beautiful / when it received Your grace in Baptism; / but I have since disfigured it with my sins. / You alone, my Redeemer, can restore it to its former beauty. / Do this by the merits of Your passion; and then do with me as You will.

(Our Father, Hail Mary, Glory be.)

Bruised, derided, cursed, defiled
She beheld her tender Child
All with bloody scourges rent.

V

The Fifth Station:
Simon Helps Jesus Carry the Cross

V: We adore You, O Christ, and we praise You. (Genuflect)

R: Because, by Your holy cross, You have redeemed the world. (Rise)

V: Consider how weak and weary Jesus was. At each step He was at the point of expiring. Fearing that He would die on the way when they wished Him to die the infamous death of the cross, they forced Simon of Cyrene to help carry the cross after Our Lord. (Kneel)

R: My beloved Jesus / I will not refuse the cross as Simon did: / I accept it and embrace it. / I accept in particular the death that is destined for me / with all the pains that may accompany it. / I unite it to Your death / and I offer it to You. / You have died for love of me; / I will die for love of You and to please You. / Help me by Your grace. / I love You, Jesus, my Love; / I repent of ever having offended You. / Never let me offend You again. / Grant that I may love You always; and then do with me as You will.

(Our Father, Hail Mary, Glory be.)

Can the human heart refrain
From partaking in her pain
In that Mother's pain untold?

IV

The Fourth Station:
Jesus Meets His Afflicted Mother

V: We adore You, O Christ, and we praise You. (Genuflect)

R: Because, by Your holy cross, You have redeemed the world. (Rise)

V: Consider how the Son met his Mother on His way to Calvary. Jesus and Mary gazed at each other and their looks became as so many arrows to wound those hearts which loved each other so tenderly (Kneel)

R: My most loving Jesus, / by the pain You suffered in this meeting / grant me the grace of being truly devoted to Your most holy Mother. / And You, my Queen, who was overwhelmed with sorrow, / obtain for me by Your prayers / a tender and a lasting remembrance of the passion of Your divine Son. / I love You, Jesus, my Love, above all things. / I repent of ever having offended You. / Never allow me to offend You again. / Grant that I may love You always; and then do with me as You will.

(Our Father, Hail Mary, Glory be.)

Is there one who would not weep,
'whelmed in miseries so deep
Christ's dear Mother to behold.

III

The Third Station:
Jesus Falls the First Time

V: We adore You, O Christ, and we praise You. (Genuflect)

R: Because, by Your holy cross, You have redeemed the world. (Rise)

V: Consider the first fall of Jesus. Loss of blood from the scourging and crowing with thorns had so weakened Him that He could hardly walk; and yet He had to carry that great load upon His shoulders. As the soldiers struck Him cruelly, He fell several times under the heavy cross. (Kneel)

R: My beloved Jesus, / it was not the weight of the cross / but the weight of my sins which made You suffer so much. / By the merits of this first fall, / save me from falling into mortal sin. / I love You, O my Jesus, with all my heart; / I am sorry that I have offended You. / May I never offend You again. / Grant that I may love You always; and then do with me as You will.

(Our Father, Hail Mary, Glory be.)

Christ above in torment hangs
She beneath beholds the pangs
Of her dying, glorious Son

II

The Second Station:
Jesus Accepts His Cross

V: We adore You, O Christ, and we praise You. (Genuflect)

R: Because, by Your holy cross, You have redeemed the world. (Rise)

V: Consider Jesus as He walked this road with the cross on His shoulders, thinking of us, and offering to His Father in our behalf, the death He was about to suffer. (Kneel)

R: My most beloved Jesus, / I embrace all the sufferings You have destined for me until death. / I beg You, by all You suffered in carrying Your cross, / to help me carry mine with Your perfect peace and resignation. / I love You, Jesus, my love; / I repent of ever having offended You. / Never let me separate myself from You again. / Grant that I may love You always; and then do with me as You will.

(Our Father, Hail Mary, Glory be.)

O, how sad and sore depressed
Was that Mother highly blessed
Of the sole Begotten One

I

The First Station:
Pilate Condemns Jesus to Die

V: We adore You, O Christ, and we praise You. (Genuflect)

R: Because, by Your holy cross, You have redeemed the world. (Rise)

V: Consider how Jesus Christ, after being scourged and crowned with thorns, was unjustly condemned by Pilate to die on the cross. (Kneel)

R: My adorable Jesus, / it was not Pilate; / no, it was my sins that condemned You to die. / I beseech You, by the merits of this sorrowful journey, / to assist my soul on its journey to eternity./ I love You, beloved Jesus; / I love You more than I love myself. / With all my heart I repent of ever having offended You. / Grant that I may love You always; and then do with me as You will.

(Our Father, Hail Mary, Glory be.)

Through her heart, His sorrow sharing
All His bitter anguish bearing
Now at length the sword has passed

st. alphonsus liguori's stations of the cross

Preparatory Prayer

(to be said kneeling before the altar)

ALL: My Lord, Jesus Christ, / You have made this journey to die for me with unspeakable love; / and I have so many times ungratefully abandoned You. / But now I love You with all my heart; / and, because I love You, I am sincerely sorry for ever having offended You. / Pardon me, my God, and permit me to accompany You on this journey. / You go to die for love of me; / I want, my beloved Redeemer, to die for love of You. / My Jesus, I will live and die always united to You.

At the cross her station keeping
Stood the mournful Mother weeping
Close to Jesus to the last

Easter: day 10

" My most usual method is this simple attention, an affectionate regard
for God to whom I find myself often attached with greater sweetness
and delight than that of an infant at the mother's breast. To choose
an expression, I would call this state the bosom of God, for the
inexpressible sweetness which I taste and experience there. If, at
any time, my thoughts wander from it from necessity or infirmity,
I am presently recalled by inward emotions so charming and delicious
that I cannot find words to describe them. Please reflect on my great
wretchedness, of which you are fully informed, rather than on the great
favors God does one as unworthy and ungrateful as I am.

As for my set hours of prayer, they are simply a continuation of the same
exercise. Sometimes I consider myself as a stone before a carver, whereof
He is to make a statue. Presenting myself thus before God, I desire Him to
make His perfect image in my soul and render me entirely like Himself. At
other times, when I apply myself to prayer, I feel all my spirit lifted
up without any care or effort on my part. This often continues as if it
was suspended yet firmly fixed in God like a center or place of rest.

I know that some charge this state with inactivity, delusion, and
self-love. I confess that it is a holy inactivity. And it would be a happy
self-love if the soul, in that state, were capable of it. But while the
soul is in this repose, she cannot be disturbed by the kinds of things
to which she was formerly accustomed. The things that the soul used to
depend on would now hinder rather than assist her.

Yet, I cannot see how this could be called imagination or delusion because
the soul which enjoys God in this way wants nothing but Him. If this is
delusion, then only God can remedy it. Let Him do what He pleases with me.
I desire only Him and to be wholly devoted to Him."

--Brother Lawrence,
from the 2nd letter; to a superior

Lent 32

Here are a few conversations with Brother Lawrence (a french-german friar 1610-1691)
From Practicing the Presence of God, a pamphlet created by his letters after his death.

--parts of a conversation with Brother Lawrence an archbishop recounted:

He [Brother Lawrence] said he had been long troubled in mind from a certain belief that
he should be damned. All the men in the world could not have persuaded
him to the contrary. This trouble of mind had lasted four years during
which time he had suffered much.
Finally he reasoned: I did not engage in a religious life but for the love of God.
I have endeavored to act only for Him. Whatever becomes
of me, whether I be lost or saved, I will always continue to act purely
for the love of God.
I shall have this good at least that till death I shall have done all that is in me to love Him.
From that time on Brother Lawrence lived his life in perfect liberty and continual joy.
He placed his sins between himself and God to tell Him that he did not deserve
His favors yet God still continued to bestow them in abundance.

-- part of Brother Lawrence's letter to a superior:

"In conversation some days ago a devout person told me the spiritual life
was a life of grace, which begins with servile fear, which is increased
by hope of eternal life, and which is consummated by pure love; that
each of these states had its different steps, by which one arrives at
last at that blessed consummation.

I have not followed these methods at all. On the contrary, I
instinctively felt they would discourage me. Instead, at my entrance
into religious life, I took a resolution to give myself up to God as
the best satisfaction I could make for my sins and, for the love of Him,
to renounce all besides."

zedekim

listen to the righteous ones! They are full of beauty, love, and joy.
These are saints who do not speak words from air, but who give words from the flesh of their hearts...for the word is made flesh and dwelt among us and has filled our hearts of joy, not of stone but of flesh...

these are all free downloads in mp3 and a few movies
also check youtube

here is Richard Wurmbrand's. He is beautiful fiery Jew...14 yrs in prison and communist torture
Richard Wurmbrand - SermonIndex.net audio sermons

and here is Corrie Ten Boom's. She is a beautiful fiery Dutch...2yrs in prison and concentration camps, saved hundreds of Jews...
Corrie Ten Boom - SermonIndex.net audio sermons

and if you want to hear what usually cheers me up on Sunday mornings
listen to this fiery Indian preacher
Ravi Zacharias International Ministries :: Let My People Think Radio Program

+

"Let nothing disturb thee; Let nothing dismay thee; All thing pass; God never changes.
Patience attains All that it strives for. He who has God finds he lacks nothing: God alone suffices."

--st. Theresa of Avila

+

O magnum mysterium,
et admirabile sacramentum,
ut animalia viderent Dominum natum,
iacentem in praesepio!
Beata Virgo, cuius viscera
meruerunt portare
Dominum Christum.
Alleluia.

O great mystery,
and wonderful sacrament,
that animals should see the new-born Lord,
lying in a manger!
Blessed is the Virgin whose womb
was worthy to bear
Christ the Lord.
Alleluia!

2:19

"I was kept in solitary confinement in this cell for the next two years. I had nothing to read and no writing materials; I had only my thoughts for company, and I was not a meditative man, but a soul that had rarely known quiet. I had God. But had I really lived to serve God--or was it simply my profession?
People expect pastors to be models of wisdom, purity, love, truthfulness; they cannot always be genuinely so, because they are also men: so, in smaller or greater measure, they begin to act the part. As time passes, they can hardly tell how much of their behavior is play-acting.

I remembered the deep commentary which Savonarola wrote on the fifty-first Psalm, in prison, with his bones so broken that he could sign the self-accusatory paper only with his left hand. He said there were two kinds of Christian: those who sincerely believe in God and those who, just as sincerely, believe that they believe.
You can tell them apart by their actions in decisive moments. If a man, planning to rob a rich man's home, sees a stranger who might be a police-man, he holds back. If, on second thoughts, he breaks in after all, this proves that he does not believe the man to be an agent of the law. Our beliefs are proved by what we do.

Did I believe in God? Now the test had come. I was alone. There was no salary to earn, no golden opinions to consider. God offered me only suffering--would I continue to love Him?

My mind went back to one of my favorite books, The Pateric, concerning certain fourth-century saints who formed desert monasteries when the Church was persecuted. It has 400 hundred pages, but the first time I picked it up I did not eat, drink or sleep until I had finished it. Christian books are like good wine--the older the better. It contained the following passage:

A brother asked his elder, "Father, what is silence?" The answer was, "My son, silence is to sit alone in your cell in wisdom and fear of God, shielding the heart from the burning arrows of thought. Silence like this brings to birth the good. O silence without care, ladder to heaven! O silence in which one cares only for first things, and speaks only with Jesus Christ! He who keeps silent is the one who sings, 'My heart is ready to praise Thee, O Lord!'"

I wondered how you could praise God by a life of silence. At first, I prayed greatly to be released. I asked, "You have said in scripture that it is not good that a man should be alone; why do You keep me alone?" But as the days passed into weeks my only visitor was still the guard, who brought wedges of black bread and watery soup, and never spoke a word.
His arrival reminded me daily of the saying, "The gods walk in soft shoes": in other words, the Greeks believed that we cannot be aware of the approach of a divinity. Perhaps in this silence I was coming closer to God. Perhaps, too, it would make me a better pastor; for I had noticed that the best preachers were men who possessed an inner silence, like Jesus.
When the mouth is too much open, even to speak good, the soul loses its fire just as a room loses warmth through an open door.
Slowly, I learned that on the tree of silence hangs the fruit of peace. I began to realize my real personality, and made sure that it belonged to Christ. I found that even here my thoughts and feelings turned to God and that I could pass night after night in prayer, spiritual exercise and praise. I knew now that I was not play-acting, believing that I believed.

[somewhere after 1948 arrest, published In God's Underground 1968.
--Richard Wurmbrand]