Wednesday, May 25, 2011
P.S. I am alive
I was not swiped away by the tornadoes, and neither were my friends, thanks be to G-d. Well anyway, am working on several scripts or rewrites of Star Wars 5:the empire strikes back, Prince Caspian, and Anastasia. Saw two horrible Russian film adaptations of Hamlet and Crime and Punishment both for lack of realism and basic lack of interest for reality in general. Depressed about financial aid for the different schools I applied to transfer...BU, BC, and Bryn Mawr.
Wednesday, April 27, 2011
tornado day
today is tornado warnings everywhere.
Just went out with my Dad and saw the sky...the clouds were almost pink even before noon and everything was that dark green-blue color...the clouds above us were moving toward each other, but the sirens turned off, and then the torrent of rain hit us, so we're back inside. Everyone at this weather/science station was peeking and taking movies with their iphones. It was pretty awesome, because I consider my father a Zedekah, or righteous one, I feel safe beside him in the storms.
Blow winds, blow! you cannot break my soul or bend me--I shall only upwards float or fly.
Just went out with my Dad and saw the sky...the clouds were almost pink even before noon and everything was that dark green-blue color...the clouds above us were moving toward each other, but the sirens turned off, and then the torrent of rain hit us, so we're back inside. Everyone at this weather/science station was peeking and taking movies with their iphones. It was pretty awesome, because I consider my father a Zedekah, or righteous one, I feel safe beside him in the storms.
Blow winds, blow! you cannot break my soul or bend me--I shall only upwards float or fly.
Monday, April 4, 2011
To Re-Bekah
I forgive you naughty child
for wanting to be my mother
and then leaving me for another.
I forgive you a thousand times.
I forgive you for hiding spiders, dust, and toys
for wanting me to call them boys
and have me close my eyes.
I forgive you for wanting to surprise
me with a nasty sting.
I forgive you a thousand times.
I must remember you are not tall
and small too, is the bite that stings my arm.
Yet poison be strong, I too, shall hold you in this power of
all remaining strength, for true love knows the immortal song
that brings forth life and never dies.
So shall my eyes not shut nor my ears be closed,
I shall love you waking, while you repose
-that you may grow and some day become--
and set your seal upon my arm
to love you, a thousand times.
for wanting to be my mother
and then leaving me for another.
I forgive you a thousand times.
I forgive you for hiding spiders, dust, and toys
for wanting me to call them boys
and have me close my eyes.
I forgive you for wanting to surprise
me with a nasty sting.
I forgive you a thousand times.
I must remember you are not tall
and small too, is the bite that stings my arm.
Yet poison be strong, I too, shall hold you in this power of
all remaining strength, for true love knows the immortal song
that brings forth life and never dies.
So shall my eyes not shut nor my ears be closed,
I shall love you waking, while you repose
-that you may grow and some day become--
and set your seal upon my arm
to love you, a thousand times.
To Our Lady II
Come, look at the moon, she said
And I awoke and rose out of bed.
"Come to the window."
And she was dressed as dark as the sky
And just like the moon, she was glowing.
Who are you, I asked, yet somehow knew.
(And her face was stern, but when she looked at me her eyes were smiling.)
Do you know me? I asked again--instead of crying.
"The day is close, she said. The moon is rising."
Shall I be safe? I said.
"I cannot promise that" her eyes said gravely loving.
And I awoke and rose out of bed.
"Come to the window."
And she was dressed as dark as the sky
And just like the moon, she was glowing.
Who are you, I asked, yet somehow knew.
(And her face was stern, but when she looked at me her eyes were smiling.)
Do you know me? I asked again--instead of crying.
"The day is close, she said. The moon is rising."
Shall I be safe? I said.
"I cannot promise that" her eyes said gravely loving.
Monday, March 28, 2011
Lady
Follow me forward, she said
And I followed her side
Forgive me for lying, she said
and I cried.
For there is no friendship in both being blind.
After she died, I had a dream she was alive
and came to me, all dressed in white like a bride.
Look what I give to you, she said
smiling and shaking her head
"not that fruit, but this one instead."
and taking my hand, she placed it on her womb.
Confused, I said, "But our son is dead!"
"No," she said. "This one is new."
And I followed her side
Forgive me for lying, she said
and I cried.
For there is no friendship in both being blind.
After she died, I had a dream she was alive
and came to me, all dressed in white like a bride.
Look what I give to you, she said
smiling and shaking her head
"not that fruit, but this one instead."
and taking my hand, she placed it on her womb.
Confused, I said, "But our son is dead!"
"No," she said. "This one is new."
To Chagall:
What is your dream, dear Reuben
Where is your mother's tears?
Strong Cain, where is your sorrow
Has it grown or swallowed where it fell?
Can you hear or tell?
I see an old man sowing tears,
breaking up earth with crying--
His heart is rending the world.
3/25/2011
Where is your mother's tears?
Strong Cain, where is your sorrow
Has it grown or swallowed where it fell?
Can you hear or tell?
I see an old man sowing tears,
breaking up earth with crying--
His heart is rending the world.
3/25/2011
3rd week of Lent: entry
My spring break's over and I have a midterm today I don't think I'm ready for. It's been raining tons and the dogwoods are all in bloom. I haven't kept up with my psalms at all but I have been lighting quantities of candles. Hmm...I think I must be seeped in Catholic guilt.
After talking with my family from seeing Tangled, I decided I was a bit extreme in my emotional response (sobbing in the car for half an hour etc.) and that I underestimated the power of unconditional love (vs. possessive love) and perhaps overestimated the danger of the shriveled soul to eternal perdition...in any right, it's not that my assumptions proved false as much as I tend to be emotionally skewed. I think I'm learning that I should not so forcefully assume my emotional reactions to be impartial truth. (In middle of this discussion, I got a free evaluation on my current mental-health from my certified child-psych practitioner and was prescribed long outdoor walks. I pointed out my whole spring break was spent weeding and gardening, but somehow this did not convince my family of my strong constitution.) Of course this isn't fair because I had spent that entire evening with a sleeping child and a very unusual thunderstorm compelling me to turn off all the electrical devices in the house and light candles for the rest of my family who were apparently oblivious to the danger in the theater--which I forgo for Lent. So to content myself, I of course studied Hamlet and found new evidence and clues to suggest that not only was Ophelia not mad but neither was her father Polonius. The only person who currently seems to lack "smarts"--or correct evaluation--because all smarts led to the characters' ruin--in the whole play is Laertes, though apparently he is the most popular and easily justified. I hope to explain more later. So far I've produced a number of poems from inspiration after crayoning with the kids--(I was trying to copy Chagall and got numerous criticisms).
After talking with my family from seeing Tangled, I decided I was a bit extreme in my emotional response (sobbing in the car for half an hour etc.) and that I underestimated the power of unconditional love (vs. possessive love) and perhaps overestimated the danger of the shriveled soul to eternal perdition...in any right, it's not that my assumptions proved false as much as I tend to be emotionally skewed. I think I'm learning that I should not so forcefully assume my emotional reactions to be impartial truth. (In middle of this discussion, I got a free evaluation on my current mental-health from my certified child-psych practitioner and was prescribed long outdoor walks. I pointed out my whole spring break was spent weeding and gardening, but somehow this did not convince my family of my strong constitution.) Of course this isn't fair because I had spent that entire evening with a sleeping child and a very unusual thunderstorm compelling me to turn off all the electrical devices in the house and light candles for the rest of my family who were apparently oblivious to the danger in the theater--which I forgo for Lent. So to content myself, I of course studied Hamlet and found new evidence and clues to suggest that not only was Ophelia not mad but neither was her father Polonius. The only person who currently seems to lack "smarts"--or correct evaluation--because all smarts led to the characters' ruin--in the whole play is Laertes, though apparently he is the most popular and easily justified. I hope to explain more later. So far I've produced a number of poems from inspiration after crayoning with the kids--(I was trying to copy Chagall and got numerous criticisms).
Thursday, March 17, 2011
Lent: the beginning of birth pains
1 Jesus came out from the temple and was going away when His disciples came up to point out the temple buildings to Him.
2And He said to them, "Do you not see all these things? Truly I say to you, not one stone here will be left upon another, which will not be torn down."
3As He was sitting on the Mount of Olives, the disciples came to Him privately, saying, "Tell us, when will these things happen, and what will be the sign of Your coming, and of the end of the age?"
4And Jesus answered and said to them, " See to it that no one misleads you.
5"For many will come in My name, saying, 'I am the Christ,' and will mislead many.
6"You will be hearing of wars and rumors of wars. See that you are not frightened, for those things must take place, but that is not yet the end.
7"For nation will rise against nation, and kingdom against kingdom, and in various places there will be famines and earthquakes.
8"But all these things are merely the beginning of birth pangs.
9" Then they will deliver you to tribulation, and will kill you, and you will be hated by all nations because of My name.
10"At that time many will fall away and will betray one another and hate one another.
11"Many false prophets will arise and will mislead many.
12"Because lawlessness is increased, most people's love will grow cold.
13" But the one who endures to the end, he will be saved.
14"This gospel of the kingdom shall be preached in the whole world as a testimony to all the nations, and then the end will come.
--matthew 24, NASB
2And He said to them, "Do you not see all these things? Truly I say to you, not one stone here will be left upon another, which will not be torn down."
3As He was sitting on the Mount of Olives, the disciples came to Him privately, saying, "Tell us, when will these things happen, and what will be the sign of Your coming, and of the end of the age?"
4And Jesus answered and said to them, " See to it that no one misleads you.
5"For many will come in My name, saying, 'I am the Christ,' and will mislead many.
6"You will be hearing of wars and rumors of wars. See that you are not frightened, for those things must take place, but that is not yet the end.
7"For nation will rise against nation, and kingdom against kingdom, and in various places there will be famines and earthquakes.
8"But all these things are merely the beginning of birth pangs.
9" Then they will deliver you to tribulation, and will kill you, and you will be hated by all nations because of My name.
10"At that time many will fall away and will betray one another and hate one another.
11"Many false prophets will arise and will mislead many.
12"Because lawlessness is increased, most people's love will grow cold.
13" But the one who endures to the end, he will be saved.
14"This gospel of the kingdom shall be preached in the whole world as a testimony to all the nations, and then the end will come.
--matthew 24, NASB
Wednesday, March 9, 2011
Ash Wednesday 2011
A colleague of my father's has just decided to publish a controversial scientific article after he found out he was diagnosed with cancer. Now he is getting the heat and the usual bashing from NASA etc. because it is about life on comets or extraterrestrial life, which apparently really freaks out traditional Evolutionists and Creationists.
This came out a couple days ago around the same time someone introduced us to the book "Heaven is for real" by Todd Burpo and is about his 4 year old son experiencing heaven in a near-death situation with a ruptured appendix and severe infection. I am so glad that G-d doesn't just favor the Muslims or Romanian prisoners like Pastor Richard Wurmbrand with visions of Jesus and heaven. All these things are so exciting and familiar and foreign to me now. I've decided to give up MOVIES & candies for Lent.
Let's see how this goes. Also, I'm gonna try to continue my Lenten Psalm memorization.
I've thought about fasting today since it's special, but boy does my tummy grumble.
According to this little boy, Jesus worked homework with him in heaven and was his teacher. Anyway, I guess I'd better do my Diff. Eq. homework too.
This came out a couple days ago around the same time someone introduced us to the book "Heaven is for real" by Todd Burpo and is about his 4 year old son experiencing heaven in a near-death situation with a ruptured appendix and severe infection. I am so glad that G-d doesn't just favor the Muslims or Romanian prisoners like Pastor Richard Wurmbrand with visions of Jesus and heaven. All these things are so exciting and familiar and foreign to me now. I've decided to give up MOVIES & candies for Lent.
Let's see how this goes. Also, I'm gonna try to continue my Lenten Psalm memorization.
I've thought about fasting today since it's special, but boy does my tummy grumble.
According to this little boy, Jesus worked homework with him in heaven and was his teacher. Anyway, I guess I'd better do my Diff. Eq. homework too.
Monday, January 31, 2011
wind in the willows: continued
VII
THE PIPER AT THE GATES OF DAWN
...
Then a change began slowly to declare itself. The horizon became
clearer, field and tree came more into sight, and somehow with a
different look; the mystery began to drop away from them. A bird piped
suddenly, and was still; and a light breeze sprang up and set the
reeds and bulrushes rustling. Rat, who was in the stern of the boat,
while Mole sculled, sat up suddenly and listened with a passionate
intentness. Mole, who with gentle strokes was just keeping the boat
moving while he scanned the banks with care, looked at him with
curiosity.
"It's gone!" sighed the Rat, sinking back in his seat again. "So
beautiful and strange and new! Since it was to end so soon, I almost
wish I had never heard it. For it has roused a longing in me that is
pain, and nothing seems worth while but just to hear that sound once
more and go on listening to it for ever. No! There it is again!" he
cried, alert once more. Entranced, he was silent for a long space,
spellbound.
"Now it passes on and I begin to lose it," he said presently. "O Mole!
the beauty of it! The merry bubble and joy, the thin, clear, happy
call of the distant piping! Such music I never dreamed of, and the
call in it is stronger even than the music is sweet! Row on, Mole,
row! For the music and the call must be for us."
The Mole, greatly wondering, obeyed. "I hear nothing myself," he said,
"but the wind playing in the reeds and rushes and osiers."
The Rat never answered, if indeed he heard. Rapt, transported,
trembling, he was possessed in all his senses by this new divine thing
that caught up his helpless soul and swung and dandled it, a powerless
but happy infant in a strong sustaining grasp.
THE PIPER AT THE GATES OF DAWN
...
Then a change began slowly to declare itself. The horizon became
clearer, field and tree came more into sight, and somehow with a
different look; the mystery began to drop away from them. A bird piped
suddenly, and was still; and a light breeze sprang up and set the
reeds and bulrushes rustling. Rat, who was in the stern of the boat,
while Mole sculled, sat up suddenly and listened with a passionate
intentness. Mole, who with gentle strokes was just keeping the boat
moving while he scanned the banks with care, looked at him with
curiosity.
"It's gone!" sighed the Rat, sinking back in his seat again. "So
beautiful and strange and new! Since it was to end so soon, I almost
wish I had never heard it. For it has roused a longing in me that is
pain, and nothing seems worth while but just to hear that sound once
more and go on listening to it for ever. No! There it is again!" he
cried, alert once more. Entranced, he was silent for a long space,
spellbound.
"Now it passes on and I begin to lose it," he said presently. "O Mole!
the beauty of it! The merry bubble and joy, the thin, clear, happy
call of the distant piping! Such music I never dreamed of, and the
call in it is stronger even than the music is sweet! Row on, Mole,
row! For the music and the call must be for us."
The Mole, greatly wondering, obeyed. "I hear nothing myself," he said,
"but the wind playing in the reeds and rushes and osiers."
The Rat never answered, if indeed he heard. Rapt, transported,
trembling, he was possessed in all his senses by this new divine thing
that caught up his helpless soul and swung and dandled it, a powerless
but happy infant in a strong sustaining grasp.
Tuesday, January 11, 2011
entry: 2nd snow day from 2nd snow
It's been the second snow day for schools, so I am at home dreading school. Breaks are fun only after you started school and my college hasn't started yet. I guess this should be a sign of some sort...Maybe that G-d can change all plans of men? Yesterday I went sledding with the neighbors who in the history of my 13 years in Alabama I've never met...Everyone of every age group and social profession was laughing and encouraging and cheering for each other--I guess this is why Alabama loves football. Anyway, today we took a walk with our neighbors in the forest and observed and did bird calls--"pishing" for birds to come near.
I've been memorizing my favorite hymns and psalms:
currently: Be Still My Soul--3 verses
reciting psalm 28 "To You, O Lord, I call; my rock, be not deaf to me"
My only creative accomplishments so far have been doodling on the piano with my younger sister who taught me, and sketching the ears of my family members.(I'm getting good!) Besides that it's quite dreary with the weather at times and everyone is lazying about.
I've been memorizing my favorite hymns and psalms:
currently: Be Still My Soul--3 verses
reciting psalm 28 "To You, O Lord, I call; my rock, be not deaf to me"
My only creative accomplishments so far have been doodling on the piano with my younger sister who taught me, and sketching the ears of my family members.(I'm getting good!) Besides that it's quite dreary with the weather at times and everyone is lazying about.
Friday, November 19, 2010
I discovered Sephardi pop music! Apparently alot of Sephardi artists sing more western-Ashkenazi music like Shay Gabso according to the Haaretz but unlike most Yehuda Saado continues the Sephardi microtones like a "Moroccan style cantor" and I quite like it. I am currently checking out other Israeli pop musicians, but so far they are not as good.
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