My spring break's over and I have a midterm today I don't think I'm ready for. It's been raining tons and the dogwoods are all in bloom. I haven't kept up with my psalms at all but I have been lighting quantities of candles. Hmm...I think I must be seeped in Catholic guilt.
After talking with my family from seeing Tangled, I decided I was a bit extreme in my emotional response (sobbing in the car for half an hour etc.) and that I underestimated the power of unconditional love (vs. possessive love) and perhaps overestimated the danger of the shriveled soul to eternal perdition...in any right, it's not that my assumptions proved false as much as I tend to be emotionally skewed. I think I'm learning that I should not so forcefully assume my emotional reactions to be impartial truth. (In middle of this discussion, I got a free evaluation on my current mental-health from my certified child-psych practitioner and was prescribed long outdoor walks. I pointed out my whole spring break was spent weeding and gardening, but somehow this did not convince my family of my strong constitution.) Of course this isn't fair because I had spent that entire evening with a sleeping child and a very unusual thunderstorm compelling me to turn off all the electrical devices in the house and light candles for the rest of my family who were apparently oblivious to the danger in the theater--which I forgo for Lent. So to content myself, I of course studied Hamlet and found new evidence and clues to suggest that not only was Ophelia not mad but neither was her father Polonius. The only person who currently seems to lack "smarts"--or correct evaluation--because all smarts led to the characters' ruin--in the whole play is Laertes, though apparently he is the most popular and easily justified. I hope to explain more later. So far I've produced a number of poems from inspiration after crayoning with the kids--(I was trying to copy Chagall and got numerous criticisms).
Monday, March 28, 2011
Thursday, March 17, 2011
Lent: the beginning of birth pains
1 Jesus came out from the temple and was going away when His disciples came up to point out the temple buildings to Him.
2And He said to them, "Do you not see all these things? Truly I say to you, not one stone here will be left upon another, which will not be torn down."
3As He was sitting on the Mount of Olives, the disciples came to Him privately, saying, "Tell us, when will these things happen, and what will be the sign of Your coming, and of the end of the age?"
4And Jesus answered and said to them, " See to it that no one misleads you.
5"For many will come in My name, saying, 'I am the Christ,' and will mislead many.
6"You will be hearing of wars and rumors of wars. See that you are not frightened, for those things must take place, but that is not yet the end.
7"For nation will rise against nation, and kingdom against kingdom, and in various places there will be famines and earthquakes.
8"But all these things are merely the beginning of birth pangs.
9" Then they will deliver you to tribulation, and will kill you, and you will be hated by all nations because of My name.
10"At that time many will fall away and will betray one another and hate one another.
11"Many false prophets will arise and will mislead many.
12"Because lawlessness is increased, most people's love will grow cold.
13" But the one who endures to the end, he will be saved.
14"This gospel of the kingdom shall be preached in the whole world as a testimony to all the nations, and then the end will come.
--matthew 24, NASB
2And He said to them, "Do you not see all these things? Truly I say to you, not one stone here will be left upon another, which will not be torn down."
3As He was sitting on the Mount of Olives, the disciples came to Him privately, saying, "Tell us, when will these things happen, and what will be the sign of Your coming, and of the end of the age?"
4And Jesus answered and said to them, " See to it that no one misleads you.
5"For many will come in My name, saying, 'I am the Christ,' and will mislead many.
6"You will be hearing of wars and rumors of wars. See that you are not frightened, for those things must take place, but that is not yet the end.
7"For nation will rise against nation, and kingdom against kingdom, and in various places there will be famines and earthquakes.
8"But all these things are merely the beginning of birth pangs.
9" Then they will deliver you to tribulation, and will kill you, and you will be hated by all nations because of My name.
10"At that time many will fall away and will betray one another and hate one another.
11"Many false prophets will arise and will mislead many.
12"Because lawlessness is increased, most people's love will grow cold.
13" But the one who endures to the end, he will be saved.
14"This gospel of the kingdom shall be preached in the whole world as a testimony to all the nations, and then the end will come.
--matthew 24, NASB
Wednesday, March 9, 2011
Ash Wednesday 2011
A colleague of my father's has just decided to publish a controversial scientific article after he found out he was diagnosed with cancer. Now he is getting the heat and the usual bashing from NASA etc. because it is about life on comets or extraterrestrial life, which apparently really freaks out traditional Evolutionists and Creationists.
This came out a couple days ago around the same time someone introduced us to the book "Heaven is for real" by Todd Burpo and is about his 4 year old son experiencing heaven in a near-death situation with a ruptured appendix and severe infection. I am so glad that G-d doesn't just favor the Muslims or Romanian prisoners like Pastor Richard Wurmbrand with visions of Jesus and heaven. All these things are so exciting and familiar and foreign to me now. I've decided to give up MOVIES & candies for Lent.
Let's see how this goes. Also, I'm gonna try to continue my Lenten Psalm memorization.
I've thought about fasting today since it's special, but boy does my tummy grumble.
According to this little boy, Jesus worked homework with him in heaven and was his teacher. Anyway, I guess I'd better do my Diff. Eq. homework too.
This came out a couple days ago around the same time someone introduced us to the book "Heaven is for real" by Todd Burpo and is about his 4 year old son experiencing heaven in a near-death situation with a ruptured appendix and severe infection. I am so glad that G-d doesn't just favor the Muslims or Romanian prisoners like Pastor Richard Wurmbrand with visions of Jesus and heaven. All these things are so exciting and familiar and foreign to me now. I've decided to give up MOVIES & candies for Lent.
Let's see how this goes. Also, I'm gonna try to continue my Lenten Psalm memorization.
I've thought about fasting today since it's special, but boy does my tummy grumble.
According to this little boy, Jesus worked homework with him in heaven and was his teacher. Anyway, I guess I'd better do my Diff. Eq. homework too.
Monday, January 31, 2011
wind in the willows: continued
VII
THE PIPER AT THE GATES OF DAWN
...
Then a change began slowly to declare itself. The horizon became
clearer, field and tree came more into sight, and somehow with a
different look; the mystery began to drop away from them. A bird piped
suddenly, and was still; and a light breeze sprang up and set the
reeds and bulrushes rustling. Rat, who was in the stern of the boat,
while Mole sculled, sat up suddenly and listened with a passionate
intentness. Mole, who with gentle strokes was just keeping the boat
moving while he scanned the banks with care, looked at him with
curiosity.
"It's gone!" sighed the Rat, sinking back in his seat again. "So
beautiful and strange and new! Since it was to end so soon, I almost
wish I had never heard it. For it has roused a longing in me that is
pain, and nothing seems worth while but just to hear that sound once
more and go on listening to it for ever. No! There it is again!" he
cried, alert once more. Entranced, he was silent for a long space,
spellbound.
"Now it passes on and I begin to lose it," he said presently. "O Mole!
the beauty of it! The merry bubble and joy, the thin, clear, happy
call of the distant piping! Such music I never dreamed of, and the
call in it is stronger even than the music is sweet! Row on, Mole,
row! For the music and the call must be for us."
The Mole, greatly wondering, obeyed. "I hear nothing myself," he said,
"but the wind playing in the reeds and rushes and osiers."
The Rat never answered, if indeed he heard. Rapt, transported,
trembling, he was possessed in all his senses by this new divine thing
that caught up his helpless soul and swung and dandled it, a powerless
but happy infant in a strong sustaining grasp.
THE PIPER AT THE GATES OF DAWN
...
Then a change began slowly to declare itself. The horizon became
clearer, field and tree came more into sight, and somehow with a
different look; the mystery began to drop away from them. A bird piped
suddenly, and was still; and a light breeze sprang up and set the
reeds and bulrushes rustling. Rat, who was in the stern of the boat,
while Mole sculled, sat up suddenly and listened with a passionate
intentness. Mole, who with gentle strokes was just keeping the boat
moving while he scanned the banks with care, looked at him with
curiosity.
"It's gone!" sighed the Rat, sinking back in his seat again. "So
beautiful and strange and new! Since it was to end so soon, I almost
wish I had never heard it. For it has roused a longing in me that is
pain, and nothing seems worth while but just to hear that sound once
more and go on listening to it for ever. No! There it is again!" he
cried, alert once more. Entranced, he was silent for a long space,
spellbound.
"Now it passes on and I begin to lose it," he said presently. "O Mole!
the beauty of it! The merry bubble and joy, the thin, clear, happy
call of the distant piping! Such music I never dreamed of, and the
call in it is stronger even than the music is sweet! Row on, Mole,
row! For the music and the call must be for us."
The Mole, greatly wondering, obeyed. "I hear nothing myself," he said,
"but the wind playing in the reeds and rushes and osiers."
The Rat never answered, if indeed he heard. Rapt, transported,
trembling, he was possessed in all his senses by this new divine thing
that caught up his helpless soul and swung and dandled it, a powerless
but happy infant in a strong sustaining grasp.
Tuesday, January 11, 2011
entry: 2nd snow day from 2nd snow
It's been the second snow day for schools, so I am at home dreading school. Breaks are fun only after you started school and my college hasn't started yet. I guess this should be a sign of some sort...Maybe that G-d can change all plans of men? Yesterday I went sledding with the neighbors who in the history of my 13 years in Alabama I've never met...Everyone of every age group and social profession was laughing and encouraging and cheering for each other--I guess this is why Alabama loves football. Anyway, today we took a walk with our neighbors in the forest and observed and did bird calls--"pishing" for birds to come near.
I've been memorizing my favorite hymns and psalms:
currently: Be Still My Soul--3 verses
reciting psalm 28 "To You, O Lord, I call; my rock, be not deaf to me"
My only creative accomplishments so far have been doodling on the piano with my younger sister who taught me, and sketching the ears of my family members.(I'm getting good!) Besides that it's quite dreary with the weather at times and everyone is lazying about.
I've been memorizing my favorite hymns and psalms:
currently: Be Still My Soul--3 verses
reciting psalm 28 "To You, O Lord, I call; my rock, be not deaf to me"
My only creative accomplishments so far have been doodling on the piano with my younger sister who taught me, and sketching the ears of my family members.(I'm getting good!) Besides that it's quite dreary with the weather at times and everyone is lazying about.
Friday, November 19, 2010
I discovered Sephardi pop music! Apparently alot of Sephardi artists sing more western-Ashkenazi music like Shay Gabso according to the Haaretz but unlike most Yehuda Saado continues the Sephardi microtones like a "Moroccan style cantor" and I quite like it. I am currently checking out other Israeli pop musicians, but so far they are not as good.
Friday, October 29, 2010
entry
I have been in a whirlwind of sorrow, song, prayer, laughter, many many tears and flowers. I saw my Grandfather die this weekend, his funeral, and his burial. I've been so far for so long, and I've only seen him and spoken with him last in May, but during the trip I started remembering little things and memories. What a rush of grief and love and life. How will I forget the too bright sun glinting through the rainbow colors of leaves, mountains, tornado weather--that too-strong and gentle wind, the bright sunlight through the living room windows and flowerpots...
Thursday, October 21, 2010
104
These all look to you to give them their food in due season.
When you give it to them, they gather it up;
when you open your hand, they are filled with good things.
When you hide your face, they are dismayed;
when you take away their breath, they die and return to their dust.
When you send forth your breath, they are created, and you renew the face of the ground.
Hallelujah. Amen.
When you give it to them, they gather it up;
when you open your hand, they are filled with good things.
When you hide your face, they are dismayed;
when you take away their breath, they die and return to their dust.
When you send forth your breath, they are created, and you renew the face of the ground.
Hallelujah. Amen.
Thursday, October 7, 2010
The Cranes Are Flying
I just saw The Cranes Are Flying (1957 Russian) last night and got to cry. I've been browsing Anne Frank and Holocaust memorials and downloaded the movie Crossing about North Korea. I don't why, but I've been having trouble concentrating during classes or studying lately...I've been writing poems in Physics class...it seems that's the only time I write anything interesting. Sigh. Anyway, The Cranes Are Flying is a GOOD movie. It is about what happens to a country or families during a war, how there is so much destruction and loss and yet having the strength to still hope and love and hold no bitterness or hatred. The actress is looks a little bit like Larissa in The Cruel Romance (Zhestokiy Romans) only she is so 1950s--innocent and good. This girl reminds me a little of St. Bernadette in The Song of Bernadette. Anyway, I also recommend that film, as well as Crossing. How beautiful and good are these stories that have so much pain and yet so much hope and belief in the eternal!
Tuesday, September 28, 2010
The Diary of a Young Girl
I just re-read or read (I can't remember) over the weekend Anne Frank's diary. And as usual am so bursting to think and laugh (for at any rate I can't cry now) that I have been speaking of it for the past few days.
I find so much treasure in the musings of a child who is becoming an adult, perhaps because I am still so immature as well. I adore and admire the Frank family's studying--Latin, French, English, (Dutch&German), History, musicians--(they definitely couldn't play any music), art, philosophy, Mr. Frank's Dickens and english dictionary, everything. The adorableness of Margot being a genius and wanting to teach and be a midwife in Palestine--how mature and idealistic she sounds! And Anne's whole rants about her poor Mom and pathetic Mrs. Van Daan, and how she feels guilt but right about her quarrels with her mom with all the paradoxical emotions. How she loves her Dad, how she gets in the one fight with him over the boy, and how sweet he is to care for her and shed tears and burn her horrible letter! Then finally the silly boy she idealizes and who disappoints. It is the quintessential teenage "coming of age" story with just the right scenario of just a few characters in just a few years of such a confined space. It is odd how reality can become so Dickens (everything fitting together) in such odd circumstances. Perhaps in my old age I've become much more sentimental for the tiny bits of "real life"--not fights or romance--but what makes life precious: the family reading and studying together, the nightly prayers, the kind friends and holiday celebrations, the tears of reconciliation, the snuggling with family, the birds in the morning, the crazy fiascos of favorite history notes getting wet and hanging them to dry, the quirky bathroom hoggers, the shelling beans and chatting--all the love of kindness, affection, love of learning and sharing, faith, and hope.
I find so much treasure in the musings of a child who is becoming an adult, perhaps because I am still so immature as well. I adore and admire the Frank family's studying--Latin, French, English, (Dutch&German), History, musicians--(they definitely couldn't play any music), art, philosophy, Mr. Frank's Dickens and english dictionary, everything. The adorableness of Margot being a genius and wanting to teach and be a midwife in Palestine--how mature and idealistic she sounds! And Anne's whole rants about her poor Mom and pathetic Mrs. Van Daan, and how she feels guilt but right about her quarrels with her mom with all the paradoxical emotions. How she loves her Dad, how she gets in the one fight with him over the boy, and how sweet he is to care for her and shed tears and burn her horrible letter! Then finally the silly boy she idealizes and who disappoints. It is the quintessential teenage "coming of age" story with just the right scenario of just a few characters in just a few years of such a confined space. It is odd how reality can become so Dickens (everything fitting together) in such odd circumstances. Perhaps in my old age I've become much more sentimental for the tiny bits of "real life"--not fights or romance--but what makes life precious: the family reading and studying together, the nightly prayers, the kind friends and holiday celebrations, the tears of reconciliation, the snuggling with family, the birds in the morning, the crazy fiascos of favorite history notes getting wet and hanging them to dry, the quirky bathroom hoggers, the shelling beans and chatting--all the love of kindness, affection, love of learning and sharing, faith, and hope.
Monday, September 13, 2010
Wednesday, September 8, 2010
I love you O lord my strength who trains my hands for war; my fingers for battle.
I love you O lord my weakness in whom there is no fault, no sin, no blemish, no deceit.
Christ-child fill my heart with peace, my quaking heart and trembling knees.
Turn my face away from all within; Turn it upward, that I may sing.
Hear O lord my cry; Hide me as the apple of your eye.
Christ-child look on me in love, hold my hand and hold my heart.
Amen.
I love you O lord my weakness in whom there is no fault, no sin, no blemish, no deceit.
Christ-child fill my heart with peace, my quaking heart and trembling knees.
Turn my face away from all within; Turn it upward, that I may sing.
Hear O lord my cry; Hide me as the apple of your eye.
Christ-child look on me in love, hold my hand and hold my heart.
Amen.
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